If you feel underwater, then this page is for you. Perhaps everything feels heavy, You’re using more energy than you’re gaining, Life may feel overwhelming, uncertain or exhausting. Right now you’re looking for stability and somewhere to stand and I hope this page helps.
“Nil desperandum” is a Latin phrase.
It translates to “Never despair“
“If you feel that you are underwater, notice and pause. Get clear which way is up. Then focus on getting your head above water. Then Take a breath. You don’t have to solve everything today.
Find the next useful move. Then the next. Sometimes, all you have to do is navigate through the next wave. And even when you cannot see a way through, hold on to hope. Things can change. Help can appear. New options can emerge. A path you cannot see today may become clearer tomorrow.
For now, breathe. Look for the light. Find which way is up.
Then make the next useful move.
You may be underwater. You aren’t meant to drown.“
Simon Hedley
Being underwater is not a judgement on you or your value. I want you to really know that, even and especially if it feels like everyone and the world does or would judge you if they knew.
In fact 99.9% of all humans as I create this page, come into the game “underwater” when they’re born. Few of us are born with a positive cashflow in place.
I want you to know three things:
Many of us have moments when we simply cannot see a way through. When we feel underwater. I call them the dark nights of the soul.
I’ve had nights when I’ve been awake at 3am, my body wracked with fear, anxiety and panic, with no idea what to do, which way was up, or how I was going to get through the next minute, the next hour, or the next day.
At times, that fear came from financial pressure. At others, from health problems, living with chronic pain, or facing surgery and genuinely not knowing whether I would survive it. And at others, from trying to process the grief of losing people I loved far too soon.
I know something of what it is to feel underwater.
If that is where you are now, I want you to know this: you are not alone, and this moment is not the whole of your story.
Will take less than a minute
For The next 30 seconds-60 seconds:
Breathing:
When you’re feeling underwater, it can seem like there are no useful opportunities, information or resources. I want you to know there are, but it can also feel impossible to find them and know where to start. So please be nice to my friend (you) and take it one step, one moment at a time.
Practically I may not be the best person to help you depending on your situation and circumstances. My work is generally about finding hidden value, creating strategic options and helping people move forward. However, if you are in immediate financial crisis, you may need a different kind of support first.
I am not simply saying “you’re not my ideal client” and leave you there. So depending on your circumstances, these resources maybe useful.
If money and debt are the immediate problem
StepChange Debt Charity
Free, confidential debt advice and practical help understanding your options.
stepchange.org
National Debtline
Free, independent debt advice, including help with creditors, arrears and urgent financial problems.
nationaldebtline.org
Citizens Advice
Practical help with debt, benefits, housing, bills, employment and other pressures.
citizensadvice.org.uk
Turn2us
Benefits calculators, grants searches and information about financial support you may be entitled to.
turn2us.org.uk
GOV.UK Benefits Calculators
Official guidance on checking what benefits and support may be available.
gov.uk/benefits-calculators
Business Debtline
Free debt advice specifically for self-employed people and small business owners.
businessdebtline.org
If the business is in serious financial difficulty, getting proper advice early matters. Do not assume that struggling personally means you have to solve every business problem alone.
Financial pressure can affect sleep, judgement, relationships and your ability to think clearly.
Samaritans
Call 116 123 free, 24 hours a day. You do not need to be suicidal to call.
NHS 111
If you need urgent mental health support in England, call 111 and select the mental health option.
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 999 or go to A&E.
If debt and credit are the immediate problem:
National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC)
Free or low-cost support through nonprofit credit counselling agencies. Help can include debt, budgeting, credit cards, housing and understanding your options.
nfcc.org
If there is literally not enough money for food, housing, energy or essentials:
211
Call 211 or visit 211.org to find local help with food, housing, utility bills, healthcare and other urgent needs.
Find financial help that may be available:
USA.gov Benefit Finder
A government service to help identify benefits and financial assistance you may qualify for.
usa.gov/benefit-finder
If you run a business or are self-employed:
SBA Local Assistance
The U.S. Small Business Administration can connect you with local support, including Small Business Development Centers and other business advisers.
sba.gov/local-assistance
Free business mentoring:
SCORE
Free mentoring from experienced business people, including help thinking through cashflow, business problems and next steps.
score.org
If “feeling super bad” means despair, panic, or not feeling safe:
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Call or text 988, 24 hours a day.
You do not need to wait until things become unbearable before reaching out.
If there is immediate danger:
Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.
If this is true, “I’m not in crisis, but cashflow is tight and I need to work out my next move.”, then these are a selection of other resources that may help you on the journey:
Youtube
Be careful and selective what you listen to or watch. I don’t want you to watch hours and hour of videos. Often people are sharing stuff to try and sell you some magic button and that’s not what you need. But today there are useful resources, music, stories and more on YouTube. I try and publish real conversations. While I may not be able to talk to you live hopefully some of the conversations there will help.
Pause Stop Reset Podcast
People stories about navigating life and business, with examples and actions that can help. Get access via Apple Podcast, Spotify, Youtube.
I’d especially recommend the episode with Terry Stout.
The Simple Idea Club
This is a community club to help people navigate life and business.
Learn more at www.TheSimpleIdea.club
Video – Trust Yourself When It Matters
Video from Adam about trusting yourself when it matters.
There is the possibility of hope. Don’t despair.
There are people who want to and will hope. Even if you don’t know who they are yet.
One moment at a time. One breath at a time. One step at a time.
Good luck.
You do not have to solve everything today.
Pick the most urgent problem and take one concrete action:
Being underwater can make every problem feel like one enormous problem. Often the first useful move is to separate it into smaller decisions and deal with the most urgent one first.
Please use the resources above. You deserve access to appropriate support, even if I am not the best person to provide it.
You may be underwater. You aren’t meant to drown.